Alkis the liar: The donkey that defeated the shark and other stories
Kastaniotis Publications, 1981 (112 pages) 7th Edition
In this book, you will find a recipe of how to become invisible, you will see a donkey jumping in the sea trying to catch a dogfish -in fact it actually bit the donkey-, you will travel to the Archanides reign, stretching from Evia all the way to Senegal, you will read about a whole army force which was looking night and day for a dinosaur.
As for those still in doubt, we would like to mention that you can find out all about the Third World Insect War, create colours with natural materials, make up a flower-clock, as well as land on the central city square with a bionic boat.
If you are looking for the person responsible for and inspirator of all these stories, let us reveal to you his true identity: he is Alkis the Liar, a 12 years-old boy. He shifts between reality and fiction, truth and lie. He, his brother and their friends, participate in stories full of mystery, adventure and lots of fun; so much fun that one rarely comes across in a book. All events take place in Athens or, when it comes to the summer months, on a desert coast of Evia, one of the biggest Greek islands.
(the following two stories are translated in a free, simple way)
The Invisible Man
What’s an Invisible Man? He’s the guy who drinks a special potion and then nobody can see him. That way he can go wherever he wants without being noticed. He can enter peoples’ houses without being seen, chase after thieves, and play practical jokes. Cool, huh? My dream – and yours too, I bet – was always to become invisible.
Was … that is … because a couple of days ago that incredible dream came true. You see I get this science magazine, specially written for kids. My uncle sends it from America, and my brother and I always read it from cover to cover because we both speak English really well. Anyway, the last issue had an article with lots of information about the Invisible Man, and also had a formula for anyone who wanted to become invisible.
When I read it, I figured it was a joke, but then I thought I’d give it a try. After all, what did I have to lose? “If this formula works,” I thought, “I’ll play so many tricks on Jimmy, I’ll scare him to death.”
So one day, when my mom had gone out shopping and I was home alone, I sat down and quickly fixed what it was I had to eat to become invisible.
Fortunately we had all the necessary ingredients in the house. I took a pot and did what the formula said. When I was done, I put the Invisible Man Formula in the refrigerator and went to my room to anxiously wait out the half-hour. Meanwhile, I made all sorts of plans. I was jumping out of my skin because soon I would see whether or not what the magazine wrote was for real.
A half-hour later I opened the refrigerator to take out the Formula. But it was gone! I felt like crying, but in the nick of time I realized what had happened. I reached into the place where a half-hour earlier I’d put the bowl – which now HAD BECOME INVISIBLE – and grabbed it. I carefully took it out and without seeing it at all, calculated more or less where the Formula was in the bowl and gulped it down, even though it was disgusting.
The magazine had more directions. I did exactly what they said. While still holding the bowl, I went and lay down, on my back, in bed. The formula should start going into effect in five-ten minutes. “Let’s see what happens,” I said to myself.
Indeed, after five minutes the bowl I was holding gradually began to appear, but I couldn’t see my hands any more. This was a sign that the experiment was working. I jumped up and ran to the mirror to see what a handsome Invisible Man I was. But all I saw in the mirror was a bowl! Wow, I’d become invisible! Just like the magazine said: “Soon you will become completely invisible. Nothing will show, not your face, not your body, not even the clothes you are wearing. But anything you pick up or touch will visible.”
The bowl slowly made its way from my room to the kitchen and landed on the table. I was holding it, of course, but you couldn’t see me.
“Time to beat it,” I thought. “I’ll go out and let other people not have a look at me.”
nothing, her eyes just about popped out of herself and she began crossing herself. I decided then to leave her alone and not drive her nuts. So when she closed the door for the third time, I took the elevator down to the street. But when I reached the lobby and opened the elevator door, the two ladies who lived on the fifth floor were there, waiting for the elevator. To get out, I would’ve had to shove them out of the way. So I let the elevator door close back and, before they realized what was happening, I’d ridden up to the first floor, where I got out and walked down the stairs. They were still scratching their heads, wondering what had happened when I passed behind them to leave. But when they saw the front door of the building open all by itself that was when they really couldn’t believe their eyes!
I walked very carefully along the sidewalk because I couldn’t see where my feet were stepping and I was afraid I’d trip. I arrived at the bus stop and after the others got on the bus I jumped on, too, just before the doors shut. “This is great,” I thought. “You don’t have to pay a cent, whether you travel by train or plane!”
I was careful to stand where I wouldn’t touch the other passengers, because they’d freak out for sure! But soon the bus filled with people. And I found myself squeezed between an elderly lady and a very large man.
“Stop pushing me, lady!” the man shouted.
“I’m pushing you , buddy? You’re the one stepping on my foot!”
“If I didn’t respect your age, I’d tell you a thing or two!” says the man. “Hey everyone, look how far my foot is from hers! And she tells me I’m stepping on her .” And then the guy goes, ”Ouch!” because just then I had stepped on his foot too.
And while the poor guy was yelping in pain, I made my way to the door, stepping on feet and pushing them all as I went. “This is what it means to be an invisible man,” I thought. “But what can I do? How else am I supposed to get off?”
somewhere under my invisible clothes. But then I’d get whipped cream and chocolate all over my jacket.
It sure is cool being invisible, I was thinking. You see everybody and nobody sees you. You can go to the beach and take a swim, even in the wintertime in your coat. You don’t have to get a haircut, or take a bath, or clip your nails. You can wear whatever you want. You can even…
Ouch! Just as I was thinking all that, a guy who weighed least 100 kilos came and sat on top of me. The “ouch” I hollered sent him flying into the air and off running in terror, wondering what he’d leaned on. I was scared myself, and decided to take off just in case he came back.
Down the road was a football stadium. A match was going on at the time and two big teams from the National League were playing. The game was into the second half. From the comments I overheard, I knew the score was Petralona: 2, Peristeri: 0.
I thought, “I’ll give you something to talk about!” I entered the stadium through an unguarded door (and if it had been guarded, who’d have seen me?) and went straight onto the playing field. I started running alongside the players. When Peristeri launched its offense and a player was about to shoot, I snatched the ball and started running low to the ground like in Rugby, towards the Petralona goal. But just as the goalie spread his arms in my direction, I turned and ran to the other goalpost and threw the ball in.
The score was now 2-1. Encouraged, the Peristeri fans started cheering. Then, two minutes later, when Peristeri was making a corner kick and everyone was guarding the goalposts, I leapt up and spiked the ball – like they do in volleyball – over the players’ heads.
The score was 2-2. The crowd was going wild. As for me, I didn’t have to do much running, since the ball kept coming in my direction. Soon I’d made the score 10-2 in favor of Peristeri!
The players, the referee, and the fans in the stands were beside themselves. They saw the ball take off on its own, turn, go backwards and forwards and score a goal no matter what the poor Petralona goalie did.
Then I decided to switch sides. I positioned myself near the Peristeri goalpost. When the rivals approached, I did some dribbling with my… um… hand, passed between the halfback and the back who were trying to stop the ball, and slammed it into the net.
The score became 10-3, then 10-4, then 10-5, until I made it 10-8. Then Peristeri formed a wall around their goal and all of Petralona waged an offensive, even their goalie. But no matter how much they kicked they couldn’t score a goal because I wanted to mess around with them. Just as they’d shoot, I’d dive and grab the ball a half-meter away! There they all were, watching the ball stop suddenly in midair and hang there, motionless, and they simply couldn’t figure out what was going on. Finally, so no one would have any complaints, I threw the ball twice into the Peristeri net and the match finished 10-10. I rushed out after that because, if they found me out, for sure they’d make me twice as invisible with the beating I’d take.
I went out into the street. I had to get home. But who’d know whether I was there, anyway? The magazine with the formula that made you invisible didn’t tell you what to do if you suddenly wanted to become normal again so people could see you. I had two more hours to wait. I was tired of being like this. Nobody paid any attention to me. Nobody talked to me. I was all alone. I wanted to talk to people but couldn’t because I was invisible! Plus it was dangerous for me to walk through town. I went to cross the street. A car was coming very fast from a distance. I motioned it to stop but it didn’t! Then I remembered that the driver couldn’t see me and I ran. And just in time! I barely made it to the other side.
It occurred to me that it might be good to give others some of the formula that makes you invisible, so I’d have company. But, after all, what kind of company would that be if you couldn’t see each other. If I wanted to be an Invisible Man forever, then I couldn’t go to school because although I’d be present, I’d also be absent! I wouldn’t even show up in photographs – and I love pictures – or go hitchhiking!
The only good thing left was that when you’re invisible, as I said, you don’t have to clip your nails or take a bath, but they’ll still know you were there from the stink. And they’d be looking all over for where the smell came from.
So, let’s face it! It’s not good or right to want to be invisible, for you alone to see others. Others should see you, too, exactly as you are, handsome or ugly, tall or short, and not only to see them and them you, I thought, but to look each other in the eye.
The time had passed. Just as I reached the door to my apartment building I suddenly saw my hand and then my whole body. I’d returned to my old self. And what do you know? There in front of the elevator were the same ladies from the fifth floor, waiting to go upstairs. I greeted them and we all got in together.
Now, of course, you’ll say to me: you saw for yourself what it was like to be invisible, so why shouldn’t we try it too, if only once? Well, I gave you the formula: two eggs, rose-petal jam, goat’s butter, honey, coconut milk, cola drink, water, and something else I can’t remember. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that my mother threw out the magazine with all that stuff since she figured I didn’t need it any more. That became invisible too!
(caption, page 11 of the book)
The bowl slowly made its way from my room to the kitchen…
The Flower Clock
Last September, once again the group of us kids who spend our summers in the village of Hiliadou on the island of Evia agreed to leave off our usual pranks and adventures and make something beautiful, something that would please our parents and the few farmers in the area. So we all met in Anna’s backyard to discuss our ideas.
Sotiris proposed that we make a little zoo. Anna said we should make an aquarium with fish and a fishery so we could make some money. Dionysus said that it would be more useful to open a pharmacy for people who got sick or hurt or bitten by a snake or a wasp. Aristides preferred the idea of saltpans so we could extract the salt from the seawater. I suggested building a lighthouse for passing ships, while Jimmy said that it would be better to build an airport. Marina, who is religious, said we should build a little chapel. And lastly, Cosmas suggested that we either build a bridge over the stream near our houses, or a school.
Well, you realize that most of these ideas weren’t worth much. What kids, for instance, would go to the school since none lived there in the wintertime? And where would we find a pastor for our church or planes to land at our airport?
Sissie had the best idea. She suggested we make a kind of sundial. The ancient Greeks hand clocks like that. They observed the sun’s shadow as it moved along the ground, and that’s how they knew what time it was! So, we thought of making a sundial of our own, but one even bigger and better than they had in ancient times.
Aristides’ house had a big yard. We chose a place that had no trees and drew a circle that was six meters in diameter. We put pretty round stones all around the rim and painted them white. Then we wrote the hours from 1 to 12. We made these numbers out of clamshells and colored gravel. And last, we sprinkled phosphorus on top of all the stones and shells so we could read them at night.
every Monday and came back to Hiliadou on Saturday, to go to a special store and buy us the seeds of the flowers we needed. Then we scratched the dial into the earth and divided it into twenty-four large slices, like you cut a pizza or a Greek New Year’s pie. Each number had two of these strips of earth that began at the center of the circle and ended on the right and left side of each number. In the strip that was to the left of the number – that is, before each number – we planted seeds that would sprout flowers that smelled at different times of the day. While in each strip that was to the right of the number we planted a different type of flower that would bloom at a different hour.
Well, we did all that last year, and asked a village lady who lived there all year round to water the flowers regularly. This year, when we returned to Hiliadou we all went running over to Aristides’ garden. And what did we see? The most beautiful clock in the world that kept time to the second:
At seven in the morning it was blooming with the pansies that we’d planted near the number seven. The pansies would gradually start closing their flowers when the violets would open their little heads around the number eight. At nine the hyacinths would wake up. At ten the tulips. At eleven the daisies. At noon the marigolds. At one the anemones. At two the orchids. At three the roses. At four in the afternoon the lilies. At five the chamomile blossoms. At six the hydrangeas. At seven, when it started getting dark, the hydrangeas had their blossoms shut tight but the carnations came to life on the left side of the number seven, spreading their wonderful fragrance everywhere. At eight in the evening the camellias gave off their sweet scent and at nine the jasmine. The numbers, you remember, glowed in the dark. So to tell what time it was all you had to go over and see which place each different fragrance was coming from.
smaller one. The crab chasing the snail would show the minutes and the big fish chasing the little fish would show the seconds.
But all that was too hard to do so we gave up the idea. Here we didn’t know exactly when it was eight or nine or ten, and so on. To solve that problem there were two solutions. One was to get our friend Stelios the donkey to bray once at one o’clock, twice at two and so forth, and do the same thing with roosters at night. But how would the donkey and the roosters know exactly how many times they had to bray or crow? And besides, there was the danger that the donkey would eat the flowers. So we abandoned that plan, too.
Still, our clock was the most beautiful clock in the world even if it didn’t show exactly what time it was or the minutes or seconds.
Besides which, we’re not in school or at work. We’re in Hiliadou. We’re a group of happy, mischievous kids who’ve come here on vacation.
Why do we need to watch the clock all the time? We were in no hurry. And why keep track of the seconds? We didn’t have anything better to do.
(caption, page 55 of the book)
It was the most beautiful clock in the world!